What Men Need from Church Beyond Sunday Morning

There is good reason churches keep putting breakfast on the calendar. A table gives people somewhere to sit, something to share and a reason to stay. The man who would hesitate to enter a discussion group may be quite willing to help cook. Someone new can learn a few names before being asked to talk about his life.

That is a good start. What happens after the breakfast matters too. Do friendships develop? Is there somewhere to bring a question about Scripture? When a man is struggling with something he finds hard to discuss, does anybody know him well enough to notice?

A small church may have neither the people nor the money for a large programme, but it can help men get to know one another and grow in faith. That includes men who attend worship faithfully and have never found a comfortable place in its other gatherings.

In Lifeway’s 15 September 2026 report, 61% of responding men’s ministry leaders named participation as their biggest challenge. In a separate survey, 40% of male churchgoers placed Bible teaching among their three priorities for men’s ministry. What would help your men keep gathering around Scripture?

The findings describe U.S. evangelical and Black Protestant churches. They offer Australian and New Zealand leaders questions to investigate locally, rather than figures to assume about their own congregations.

Begin with the men you actually have

Before changing a programme, talk to men who have different experiences of it. Include someone who comes regularly, someone who has stopped coming and someone who has never joined. Ask what would make a gathering useful and what makes it difficult to attend. A shift pattern, a long drive or responsibility for children can explain why someone rarely comes.

Listen for assumptions in the invitation itself. A series devoted to marriage may serve husbands well. A calendar built almost entirely around fatherhood leaves an unmarried man wondering where his Christian life fits. An evening advertised through jokes understood by old friends can be harder to enter than its organisers realise.

The Lifeway findings give leaders a reason to look at this: 77% said their ministry was designed to meet dads’ needs, compared with 45% for single men. Support for fathers matters. So does making room for men whose lives look different.

Scripture gives unmarried men a full place in Christian service. Paul’s discussion of singleness recognises its opportunities for devoted service to the Lord; marriage is never the entrance requirement for a serious Christian life. A men’s ministry should be able to teach that passage as readily as it teaches a husband’s responsibilities.

The same care applies to age. Older men have experience to offer, and may also need friendship, correction and support. Younger men have questions and abilities to contribute. Bringing them together can be fruitful, but calling someone a mentor does not establish trust. Give them time to get to know one another before expecting a close relationship.

A narrow image of masculinity can get in the way of this work. There is room for sport, camping, tools and the pleasure of doing something together. There should also be room for the man who enjoys none of them. Christian maturity cannot be measured by how comfortably someone fits the group’s favourite activities.

Whatever the activity, be clear about why you are gathering. The aim is to help men follow Christ together. A meal, a walk or a Bible study can serve that purpose, depending on what the men need and how the time is used.

Give the friendship something to grow around

In Acts, the shared life of the early church includes teaching, prayer, meals and material care. These belong together. Sharing a meal gives people time to know one another; reading Scripture together helps them understand how to live as followers of Christ.

That suggests a useful question for an existing men’s breakfast: is there an accessible way for the people who meet here to keep reading the Bible together? The answer might already exist in the church’s small groups. A separate men’s gathering may help where men want to discuss responsibilities or temptations with other men, or where those relationships have yet to form elsewhere in the church. Talk to the men concerned before adding another commitment.

Consider this proposed arrangement for a church with a monthly breakfast. Two members invite six men to read Philippians together on four Wednesday evenings. They ask about timing before fixing it, offer a simple meal and agree to finish at eight. The invitation explains that no previous Bible study experience is required and nobody will be put on the spot to read aloud or pray.

An invitation could be as plain as this:

We’re planning to read Philippians together over four Wednesday evenings, with a meal and time for questions. You don’t need to have been in a Bible study before. No one will be put on the spot to read aloud or pray. Would Wednesday work for you? We will finish at eight.

Prepare an evening around the passage

For one of those evenings, the passage is Philippians 2:1–11. The leader has read the surrounding chapter and prepared to explain Paul’s appeal for humility. The group reads about Christ humbling himself in obedience, even to death, and God exalting him. They take time to understand this before discussing what it means for their own attitudes and relationships.

The conversation could begin with a question about the text: what behaviours is Paul asking the Philippians to leave behind? After they have looked closely, the leader asks where the desire to have one’s own way causes trouble in an ordinary week.

There is no need to manufacture a dramatic confession. Someone might recognise his habit of taking over a conversation. Another may want to think quietly about a disagreement at home. The leader can offer a modest example from his own life, provided it is true and does not expose somebody else’s private affairs. He allows silence instead of answering every question himself.

Before prayer, invite the men to ask for any help they would welcome during the week. Someone thinking about an apology may want to talk it through with a friend before Sunday. Someone who did not understand part of the passage can arrange to read it again. Leave each person free to decide what he wants to discuss and with whom.

Leave room to enjoy the evening too. There can be laughter alongside serious study. People need time to talk freely and enjoy one another’s company without every conversation becoming a discussion about their progress.

For leaders adapting this example, a short preparation note can keep the evening focused:

Keep knowing one another

After four meetings, ask the men what helped them understand the passage and whether the arrangement can continue. A fortnightly meeting that people can sustain may serve them better than a weekly one they repeatedly miss. A man who cannot join still needs a place in the church’s life; participation in this particular group must not become a test of commitment.

There will be occasions when the conversation becomes more difficult. A man may disclose destructive behaviour, grief or a situation the leader cannot adequately address. Christian friendship includes the willingness to stay involved while seeking appropriate help. It also includes honest correction. In Galatians, restoration is to be gentle, undertaken with awareness of one’s own vulnerability, and joined to the willingness to carry another person’s burden.

A leader should therefore be clear about discretion. Personal struggles are not material for later anecdotes or casual conversation. Nor should a group promise secrecy about harm that needs to be addressed. Men need to know both that they will be heard carefully and that friendship will not be used to excuse conduct that hurts others.

Over time, a church can ask better questions than whether an event filled the room. Are men becoming more familiar with Scripture? Are friendships extending beyond scheduled gatherings? Can younger and older men ask each other for help? Attendance remains useful information, but those conversations help explain what the gathering is accomplishing.

Keep the breakfast if it serves people well. Give the men who come a clear invitation to meet again, read Scripture and pray together. Over time, those regular conversations can make it easier to ask for help when a difficult week comes.